I live a life with anxiety often gripping my heart and pressing into my lungs. Breathing doesn’t come easy many days. Depression is the unwanted houseguest who can’t seem to get the memo, “You aren’t wanted here. It’s past time for you to go.”
It gets old fast feeling trapped inside of yourself, unable to find calm and escape the negative, defeating thoughts. Many are surprised when they hear someone express loss of hope and giving up on living, but I’ve shared those contemplations numerous times throughout my life. Especially after the sudden loss of my brother nearly four years ago, just one week after giving birth to my baby girl. Anxiety and depression then increased times ten.
Peace was a something I became desperate for and I took on the journey to find it.
Early April 2019, my husband’s birthday weekend, while out running errands I got the urge to purchase a few herb plants (transplants), soil, and containers. It’s not beyond my personality to act on impulse. There was no plan but I felt excited.
“Happy Birthday Bae, we’re starting our garden,” sums up what I said when I arrived home but what happened next was magical.
“Ok let’s do it,” Ronell responded through light laughter. I’m almost certain he thought I was a little crazy but we have a track record of him supporting my crazy ideas and sudden sparks of passion. Ha! He’s a great husband.
That day our family began our gardening journey. An experiment I had wanted to take on for a few years, we even talked about it a couple times but I allowed my own intimidation of the gardening process to keep me from taking the leap.
Intimidation dissolved that day and we had everything we needed to get started.
Full honesty, the only motivation I had for wanting to garden and attempt to grow any food was merely because it seemed like it would be a fun thing to do with the kids. Even though I had grandparents who grew fruit and vegetables it wasn’t something I was directly involved with or saw the ins-and-outs of. Therefore; I had no other expectations but that little spark of interest was enough.
I’d go as far as to say, going into situations without any expectations has the potential to alleviate the risk of disappointment and elevate the opportunity to fully enjoy the journey.
There we were, as a family, a black family, everyone’s hands in the soil, working together. As parents, we were open and vulnerable to not having the answers and to embark on a learning journey alongside our children. They asked questions, we researched, and everything was trial and error.
Of course, in true Team Tennant fashion, Hubby became equally excited, so we headed to Lowe’s and got a few more plants. We grew parsley, oregano, thyme, rosemary, Roma and Beefsteak tomatoes, green and red bell peppers. Composting peaked his interest, so we did that too.
We can never do anything small. Ha!
The day we started on our gardening journey was one of the most magical moments I have experienced and continue to experience until this day. I will forever be grateful for the sudden nudge I felt to purchase the plants because gardening is no longer just an interest, it has become our lifestyle.
